People

A long time ago I remember having a conversation with my college flute teacher once I realized I was never going to become the professional flutist I had naively set out to be. I lamented at the waste of it all. The time, money, and energy in the pursuit of something that would never come to fruition. She argued that it was not a waste. She encouraged me to look past the unrealized goal to see what the pursuit had brought me, especially relationships. All the study, performance, and teaching brought me people, many of which have become as close as family to me. 

While in my youth I had two incredible flute teachers that were more than teachers to me and have become mentors, colleagues and friends. So many music friends from college, graduate school and flute ensembles have stayed close friends if not close in proximity.

I have been gifted two “flute moms”. I love them so much and am so grateful to feel like family with them. In fact, when George and I visited my first flute mom in Boston a couple years ago, my second flute mom in Lancaster picked us up from the train and George told her we had “visited family”.

Then there are my students, past and current. I know we’ve made a difference in each other’s lives. I hope my students know that they can always reach out to me, I am forever their flute teacher… even if I’m not any sort of flutist at the moment… or ever again.

I do not know what the future will bring to my relationship with music. Since starting over 30 years ago I have never gone this long without working on my flute. Since meeting over 30 years ago I have never been without Nick this long either. I know the two are connected and like so many other things I do not know the answer.

What I do know is that not a day goes by without my thinking of Nick and listening to music. It’s all still there, still exists, but instead of living these lives, it’s like reading a book or viewing art in a museum. As good as that can be it will never be as good as the real thing.